“Leave Him!” is the first reaction most people have when a woman claims to be in a physically abusive relationship. Most women involved in this kind of relationship do not leave after the first blow. It is most commonly assumed that most stay because of low self esteem, but there must be other contributing factors that allow a woman to justify staying in a physically abusive relationship. In our society, men are allowed to cheat, not take care of their children, and belittle women among other things and still be welcomed with open arms by their women. Therefore, how can a woman be told to leave her physically abusive boyfriend when her peer is allowing herself to be cheated on by her boyfriend. Does one outweigh the other? With that being said, why are other forms of abuse and misconduct by men more acceptable than physical abuse in our society?
14 comments:
"Physical abuse", is much more noticeable. KEYWORD "physical", and it is obviously harder to hide a black eye compared to a cheating husband ya know.
So is it justified that a woman stay for other misconduct such ascheat, not take care of their children, and belittle?
No one wants this but they except it. Low self-esteem is just another effect caused by the main problem. It can all be caused the same reasons. Both physical abuse and mental. A physically abused woman might have past issues, from childhood, that she never dealt with. Also the male the is doing the abusing probably has them too. The same goes for when a woman allows a man to cheat on her over and over. Not sure why men cheat or if it has to do with same reasons someone excepts abuse or abuses. There could be alot of answers to this but normally it starts from childhood. People try to hide or make excuses and never actually fix the actually problem within. The abuse and excepting it is the easy way out. People don't like to face the truth or their past.
You are correct in that many people's personality traits and how they deal with relationships start from an early age.
Although I tire of talking about this topic, I agree that there are other forms of abuse that are unacceptable and questionable. Sometimes criticism and verbal abuse is grey and it is hard to define it at times. I think it mostly depends on how it is said, and where it is said. I've heard before that nice people are attracted to nice people while there are mean people who are attracted to mean people and are comfortable with it. I know that I can be mouthy and insulting at times, and sometimes I feel all is just as fair in war as it is love, but I don't know.
I want someone who knows how to reason and be a good arguer, but at the same time, respect my feelings and emotions as much as he can. I know men are just naturally ogorish and insensitive, but I think there needs to be some sort of, I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say.
I really don't know the answer...been there myself many years ago...and then I married the guy only to divorce him a year later when the abuse started in on my 2 yr old son...I think we repeat our parents in many ways that we don't want to.and even try hard not to..but we seem to accept less than what we expect of ourselves...I don't anymore mind you..but I did for many many years.
You know I have a cousin who couldn't stand to be in a relationship without drama. She enjoys the fights and the arguing. We'll she has to because it's the only type of guys she dates.
Let me start of by saying this is a good subject.
For society, physical abuse is where friends and family draw the line as to where cheating is something you can supposedly work through.
Cheating in no way should be acceptable. To me, it has the same detrimental effects as physical abuse.
E.g. you could end up dead, emotionally damaged, low self esteem etc.
And leaving your children behind! Is not acceptable in any community...and what can be done has been done. CHILD SUPPORT!! If they government doesn't get you now they will get you later. If you don't pay the consequences are no joke.
exactly my point why is everyone so riled up over a black eye yet they will go back to their man and have unprotected sex with him while knowing full well is sleeping with other women. Also the baby mamma's who still sleep with their promiscuous baby's father while he only buys his child a pair of shoes every few months. I mean what's worse?
Emotional abuse leaves deeper scars then ohysical abuse. Sometimes you wish they WOULD hit you. Abusive men show you a love like you have never known...then slowly, they begin to chip away at your self esteem. They wait until you are trapped, dependant and have no other options. It is all a minacle plan. Most women dont leave because when he says no one else would ever want you...you believe it, you have kids, you have no way to support yourself. But women need to find the dtrength in themselves, for their kids to rather live in a cardboard box then to expose their children to it ot take it for even one more day. Society doesnt accept it, they turn a blind eye. What they dont know wont hurt them.
I know all about emotional abuse. I dated an African guy that was so good at sneaking in insults to make me feel like no one else would want me. It took me almost two years to put two and two together. Emotional abuse among others need to be discouraged and not just physical because like you said they both leave scars.
I think the emotional torture of physical abuse is the worst. My eX loved to hurt me in front of my kids so he could make the family live in fear. Leaving caused the violence to escalate (you have a 90% higher risk being killed while leaving or after you leave). I live in South Carolina, where the legal system is a joke, although the last time the eX got violent I got a lawyer after them and they did make him go to some sort of battering Men treatment. There is a book called "Why Does he Do That? Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. I HIGHLY recommend that book to anyone who cares about the subject. I went into an Oprah forum after there were all those shows because of Rihanna and Chris Brown, and so many people in there were urging others to read it. The information saved my life, but even more important, the lives of my kids. It's not issues from childhood, all that crap is just manipulation. It is completely deliberate and calculated behavior, and these predators can unfortunately happen to anyone.
YEA, I THINK IT IS MORE THAN CHILDHOOD. I THINK CONTROL COMES INTO FACTOR WHEN DEALING WITH ABUSERS.
If anyone here truly feels fiat currency is worthless then feel free to give me all your money.
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