He is attractive, he treats you good, runs your bath water and even helps you take care of your bad toddler from a previous relationship. He even helps pay the bills. What more can you want? But like the old saying goes: “Too good to be true.” One day you are snooping through your man’s emails and you discover a email recalling sexual events with him and another man a few nights prior when he told you he had to stay late at work. With further investigation you come to find out that you man is indeed having a sexual relationship with a man. Does it matter whether they cheat with the same sex or not? What would you do?
- Confront, Forgive, and Allow
- Leave Him
- Act like you never saw it; after all everything else in your relationship is fine
Now for MEN....... What if you found out your woman was bisexual? Which would you choose?
57 comments:
WTF!?!?!
I know I would probably say the same.
oh my
I think if you're in a committed relationship with someone and they cheat on you....who it's with doesn't really matter....the trust is gone regardless. I'm still trying to figure out how u can be 'gay' but in a relationship with the opposite sex. Wouldn't that make the person bi? I personally don't understand it all. ???
I would leave him...immediately
he is gay.
bye bye
It goes on all the time. Men in relationships with women and are on the Down Low. There are many men who don't believe they are gay. They just think it's sex.
I mean lets think about it men and women stay with their partners all the time after they cheat. Why is it any different that he sleeps with men? Would it matter if he was everything you want in a man with the exception of this.
If she's bi-sexual and I had to find out AFTER we're in a relationship, she's catching the vapors....period
Too many problems can/will arise from dealing with someone that can't make up their mind.
So unlike most men you would dumb your woman because she likes to dabble with other women. I mean what type of problems could arise if you were to allow it for instance i.e. an open relationship where she is allowed to sleep with women?
She can sleep with whomever she wants.....just not with me. Theres no such thing as 'dabbling' with the same sex. You're HOMOsexual. No tendancies involved.
Yes, I'd dump her....along with the respect I had for her.
So you don't believe and bi-sexuality? You don't think it's possible for one to be attracted to both sexes?
Would she be more forgivable if she had slept with a man?
Not much you can do. Withhold sex for a minute and tell him/her to make sure a condom is in use. Bisexual? Now you're talkin'
We'll We'll the common guy has finally arrived. Truthfully if it was a man or woman and you know they are cheating you minus well just supply them with condoms. I mean whose to say he or she won't do it again. If you are going to stay don't be in denial just make sure he or she is safe.
Some sage once said, and I paraphrase, you only go around once in life so rip life a new ass or something like that. With "A Little Help From My (Your) Friends" all will be well. Otherwise, lots of meds will do and a good "head" doctor. Nudge Nudge Wink Wink. I love double entendre.
I LOVE DOUBLE ENTENDRE ALSO. ;-)
Well I would definitely confront him. Then I would end the relationship on good terms...after all the way you describe it there is some caring involved. It is what it is. My getting angry or personalizing his Behavior isn't going to change the fact that he is at the least Bisexual. It's not about me. What is about me is I'm not comfortable sharing sexual partners, it gets too messy.
i gues honestly, i might have TRIED to make it work, had he been honest. unfortunately, my husband LIED and told me *I* ws not attractive, while he spent his sexual energy elsewhere... i have compassion for him, in that he was too afraid to admit even to Himself that he liked me... but the fact that he emotionally Tortured me while 'goin' there' is inexcuseable. so... i had to let him go. tho, at a time, in the middle of my being lied to, if i had only Known, i might have ripped his fucking head off just for LYING abot it. i found ANOTHER MAN's wedding ring behind our bed, after BEgging him to get counseling because he wouldn't touch me and was telling e, that i was unattractive. :/ .... had i only known, i woud have saved myself YEARS of trauma. now, im broken forever. :[
Heal yourself dah'ling it was not about you. I think you know that. You are beautiful and I encourage you to find the positive in your situation (it's there), learn from it... and grow;~}
I knew there had to be at least on woman that would come out with one of these "secretive" yet true and prevalent stories. There are many men on the downlow and like you said how he tried to make it fell like it was you when he really was just using that to sleep with men. Honey, everything happens for a reason. Perhaps there is a man you will meet that will sweep you off your feet.
I know all about emotional abuse. A man making feel like you are doing something wrong so he can go out and cheat. It's not your fault. He was just trying to find a way to make it appear that his life was fine with a wife and white pinked fence while he slept with men on the downlow.
Thanks for your honesty.
At survival level, act like I didn't see until I got on my feet.
At a stabilized level, leave him
I think money definitely plays a role in rather one decides to leave or stay in a relationship.
However, how much would one put up with?
I would totally play as if nothing happen fopr that moment and bring upp things related to it and by the time he doesnt have any excuses to give i would dump his ass out of nowhere.... Theres no forgiveness wen it comes to cheating....
I don't mind a lady being bi-sexual, but I'd NEVER make her my woman.
IT IS A TOUCHY SUBJECT! I AM NOT SURE MYSELF IF I WOULD BRING IT UP IMMEDIATELY. I WOULD LET THE EVIDENCE MOUNT.
I WONDER WHY WOULDN'T YOU MAKE HER YOUR GIRL? IT'S NOT LIKE SHE IS SLEEPING WITH MEN. MOST MEN LIKE WOMEN WHO LIKE WOMEN. OR AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO.........
We need to get over all these hangups about cheating and adultery. Sticking your penis in something, or having something stuck in your penis, does not mean that you love your partner any more or less than you already do. Besides, variety keeps things interesting. You can't expect to get the same, high caliber, sex you get from the same person who cleaned up your diarrhea when you were sick.
Sex Mahoney for President
I think I'd pass out. But after I fully absorbed it I'd be packing his things or mine, no confrontation needed. I only confront people if I'm interested in hearing them atempt to plead their case. And in this situation I wouldn't be. I'd be trying to disassociate myslef from this man as quick and clean as possible. Yes it matters the sex of the person he cheated with. If its a man their is certainly no chance for reconciliation. Absolutley none.
You know Sex Mahoney You have a good point. Why do you love your partner less because you sleep with someone else? Does there necessarily have to be problems in the marriage because you want or are sleeping with someone else? What if all is well al home?
Then again whatyougetifyourlucky why stay if it's a woman? Is it because of what everyone else my think about your man?
Like most men , I'd wanna know why I wasn't invited to the party. If I still couldn't get down with them , I'd leave the relationship. over all , dcheating is cheating and I'd leave any way.
You have a point so I guess if she would have informed and involved you then it would be OK.......
I am pretty sure that doesn't work if a woman found out her man was gay..........
I would act like i didn't see it.. but, that just gave me permission to do whatever I want to do with whoever--lol- and keep my affairs a secret too--
AS LONG AS YOU'RE USING PROTECTION REALLY WHY NOT?
(im so late, so let me catch up)
if my woman is sneaking with another woman...the only problem would be that she is SNEAKING! I was almost the victim of this until my woman told me her damn self, "hey me and so-and-so was drunk and we phucked around...alot!"
my response, "where the phuck was I...was it good?!?"
see in any scenarial TRUTH has to be given credit. The fact that my woman told me about it, says somehting about her and her relationship as it pretains to me.
believe it or not if she had messed around with a dude I would have had the same "inside" reaction because...she TOLD ME THE TRUTH.
ok "inside" reaction-the opposite of your "outside" reaction...like punching a wall, throwing misc objects...shit like that LOL.
cheating aint right but then again it is a forgiven offense/mistake.
"in a perfect relationship you have to allow your partner to be imperfect"
I ALSO BELIVE CHEATING IS A FORGIVABLE OFFENSE.....I GUESS EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. IN ANY EVERNT I THINK THAT THE NOTION OF ONLY WANTING ONE PERSON IS OBSERD.
btw I also believe that 9/10 women are at the very minimum curious about another woman...
so that's actually one of the first things I clarify on a date...when the time is appropriate ofcourse.
"so you ever been with a woman"
depending on how she handles the question, decides whether I can begin to take her serious
SO IF SHE SAYS YES THEN YOUR ANSWER IS NO?
I MEAN IF 9/10 WOMEN ARE CURIOUS ACCORDING TO YOU THEN YOUR ARE GONNA HAVE A HEARD TIME FINDING ONE THAT SAYS THAT SHE ISN'T...
It doesn't matter WHO he's sleeping with...the fact is he's sleeping with someone other than me so he's gotta go!
Bertha:
sweetheart if she says yes,maybe,i want to, i thought about it....then it's a GO baby.
If I think 9/10 are atleast curious then the "insecure-i-cant come-to-terms-with-myself-few" are those that i stay away from
OH OK SO YOU DON'T MIND THE "MAYBE" YOU JUST DONT' LIKE THE "I DON'T."
MAYBE IT'S THE HOPE THAT SHE WILL INVOLVE YOU DOWN THE LINE...............
Yes more importantly its hope that she can be honest/real/fwd/upfront/secure
Yeah all of that
B. Leave him.
There is no way I'd even want to be intimate with him after that shock to my system. If he were cheating with a woman, I MAY possibly be able to consider giving him another chance. But, I draw the line when it comes to a man having sex with another man. If he was into that, he shouldn't have gotten with me.
FIRST, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY TERESA.
YOU HAVE A POINT. I GUESS ANOTHER WOMAN WOULDN'T SHOCK YOUR SYSTEM BECAUSE WERE SO USED TO IT.
You are not in a relationship if you are going through your man's email. If the man I am sharing my life with chooses to have sex with anyone with out me I would leave, I would not pass go, I would not collect my $200.00! I would send him to the gym, take all my shit and move on down the road.
YOU HAVE A POINT THERE PROBABLY WAS UNDERLYING PROBLEMS IF YOU WERE SNOOPING.
If she (a theoretical she as I'm single. Yes girls, I said single. Hard to believe, I know.) cheated on me with anyone, that's really the point. But there are side issues. If she cheats on him with a woman, at least the usurped male doesn't have to worry that his cuckholder has a bigger cock and there would be some who would console themselves with the possibility of joining in. Or at least watching. Also, if it comes to a fight, the odds are generally in his favour, particularly if he gets in the first blow and guards the other two things between his legs that she hasn't got. After all, his woman has just stabbed him in the back and turned rug muncher into the bargain, the last thing he needs is a kick in the bollocks from her pussy on the side.
My wife only cheated on me with men, but I wasn't worried about the size of their cocks. There can only be one reason for my lack of concern, obviously, girls. And still I'm single. Defies all logic.
i wouldnt be mad if my girl was bi. i would ask her qusetion about the event two women connect so well together in the bed is magic a man and woman hollow ever connect iin bed. why because they want different things. sex is a team thing.
WELL HE WOULD WIN THE FIGHT I GUESS......AT LEAST WON'T THINK IT WAS BECAUSE HE WASN'T BIG ENOUGH OR GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE YOURSELF THE OTHER SEX.
SO YOUR GONNA ASK A WOMAN A TRICK QUESTION AND SEE IF SHE FALLS FOR THE TRAP?
WELL THIS IS A GOOD BLOG IT IS GOING ON MORE THEN OU THINK AND ALWAYS ON THE DOWN LOW AS A GAY MAN I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A STORY IL MAKE IT SHORT LOL I HAVE BEEN WITH MORE MEN WHO HAVE A WIFE AND FAMILY THEN WITH GAY MEN SO WIFES JUST THINK IT COULD OF BEEN YOUR MAN I ALSO HAVE FULL BLOWN AIDS AND DINT KNOW SO HERES SSOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT YOU DONT KNOW WHO AND WHAT YOUR MAN IS DOING IF THIS DOES HAPPEN TO YOU PLEASE GET TESTED I CAN TELL YOU THAT A MAN WILL GO TO A MAN FOR FANTICY MEN CAN DO TO EACHOTHER WHAT A GIRL CANT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT SEX IS SEX AND MAKEING LOVE IS SO MUCH MORE KEEP AN OPEN MIND WITH YOUR MATE CAUSE SOME ONE WILL DO TO HIM WHAT YOU WONT THEN YOU ARE IN A BAD SPOT NO JUST CAUSE HE SLEEPS WITH A GUY DOES NOT MEEN HES GAY JUST NOT TO SADIFIED WITH WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO HIM NOT SAYING ITS RIGHT BUT IT HAPPENS AND WITH GIRLS TO IT GOES FOR BOTH
That would be tricky because whether male or female, sex is sex, so how could you have unprotected sex with your partner again? Then comes in the faithful issue. If he can't be faithful to you then Why would you Stay with Him?
I AM GLAD SOMEONE CAME OUT AND SAID SOMETHING BECAUSE I KNOW IT GOES ON PLENTY. THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN THAT SLEEP WITH WOMEN AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SLEEP WITH MEN ON THE DOWN LOW.
I FOR ONE WOULD BE HORRIFIED TO SLEEP WITH MY MAN AFTER FINDING OUT HE HAS BEEN CHEATING. I MEAN THE OLD DUMB ME WOULD HAVE FORGIVEN HIM BUT NOW I WILL NEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVER DO THAT AGAIN.
Ideally, I would be pissed for not sharing the goodies with me !! Bring that man or girl HOME !! SHARE !!!! LOLOL
In reality, I can not even begin to imagine how I would handle that...
Well, if my girl decided to cheat on me with another girl..... First after my dick was back in control, he he. I would put it like this... If she would bring her girlfriend over and we could all have some fun then I would without a doubt say that it is ok. But..... if not... Well then ummmm dam now thats a hard one lol. I guess as long as it was only the one girl and neither one of them were sleeping with another man... (other than me lol) Then I guess it would be ok. I mean hey who knows maybe if not at first then maybe later down the road we could all have some fun, he he. I still think that she should be honest about it though. make things a lot easier.
Hell NO...I'd be gone and no going back!
I DONT BLAME YOU.
I would choose D. Watch. :-)
Hell, include me in the guy sandwich! YUMMERS!!!!
LOL.
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