As I sat in that cold room waiting for my doctor to come in and read my HIV screening results, I thought: "What if it came back positive?" Would I ever be able to have sex again? Children? How would I tell my partner? How would I tell my friends and family? Life as I know it would be over. Many of us women including myself have had a sexual relationship with a man whom we know not to be faithful, yet we allow ourselves to let them put our lives at stake for a few moments of lust.
"Baby I ain't got nothing."
So many men get wrapped up in the lure of a woman's physique when the lights go off that turning over to the night stand or making that extra stop to the gas station becomes to much to bear.
"Damn it's so wet."
So as I sit in the waiting room regretting unprotected sex with a man whom I wasted 2 years of my life with.............
Knock. Knock.
"Hello Bertha. How are you?"
"Fine." I said with a nervous grin.
"I have your HIV results here." She said as she opened the folder.
"OOOOK............"
My heart began to race.
"You results came back..............Negative."
My wake up call happened at that moment. No longer did I care what the clerk thought if I brought a pack of Magnums. No longer would I be having unprotected sex in a knowingly unfaithful uncommitted relationship. A year later I still ask myself: "What if?"
Do you ever ask yourself: What if?
21 comments:
in this day and age .... you must always use protection or ask for test results OR go with your partner together to get tested ...
maybe thats me being untrustworthy but screw it ... i respect myself and my body ... and if he truly loves me ...then he will go ...
this is always why i abstain between relationships ...
nowdays with so much stress being put on sex and having it ...
NO no ... i will not follow the pack or the heard ...
girls nowdays are having sex at 11 what is that? i dont even recall knowing what sex was at that age ... its so sad...
its babies growing up tooooooooooo fast ....
call me a prude ... or watever ...
i want to be alive to see my future children grow old ....
so if your unsure ... gooooooooo and get tested.... and if not use condoms EVERYTIME ....
You know abstaining sounds great and so does telling your partner to come with you to get screened before you decide to have unprotected sex or sex altogether......
sounds great but we know that is not the reality for many sexually active people because more and more people are being infected so for the rest of the commenters if you are really having unprotected sex keep it real because if everyone was we would be disease free which we all know is not the case.
However LEELAA thanks for setting the example.
it is yet to be proven hiv leads to aids,as all know by now...
HOWEVER, PEOPLE DO NOT JUST WAKE UP WITH A COUGH AND HAVE AIDS THEY GOT IT FROM HIV. IN ANY EVENT IT WAS FROM SEX, NEEDLES, BIRTH OR TRANSFER OF BLOOD, OR BREAST MILK. BUT M O S T PREVENTABLE SEX!!!!!!!!
I think ill commit suicide,,,... Seriously becuz i dont think ill ever live taking med for the rest of my life and being sick all the time...
All the time and I have been with the same guy off and on for five years. On his off time he did his thing and probably once we got back together. I get tested every three months behind his back. Not that I don't trust him I just love myself. Please stay aware though, just because your HIV came back negative you can still contract STD's such as herpes, and HPV that can only be treated not cured.
well thank goodness along with that I had nothing else and when tested months later I still have nothing. However, if you have to get tested behind his back all the time why take the continued risk?
Yeah its the crazy reality of sex/phuckin/making love...
Best advice is to get tested and protect yourself as much as possible...especially when getting with someone new!
THE FUNNY THING SCRIBER IS I HAVE GOTTEN SO MANY VIEWS ON THIS TOPIC YET NO COMMENTS. IT GOES TO SHOW THAT IT IS 2009 AND PEOPLE STILL DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT STDS. ALTHOUGH OUR SOCIETY PROMOTES SEXUAL PROMISCUITY.
Unfortunately even though our society promotes sexual promiscuity, society is still in such denial shrouded in fear about STD's....it's not ignorance, the info is out there, but rather poor judgment stupidity and laziness. WTF???
I, by far was no angel, growing up. I made a lot of stupid choices. The first time I heard about AIDS was on a commercial for "aids diet chews"...mmm CHOCOLATELY. Anywho, fortunately I came out of it all relatively unscathed...no STDS but I wouldn't say it was due to wise choices more just dumb luck. In today's society we need to be informed & make informed choices it is only common sense that unprotected sex puts you at risk for HIV, (among other things) which puts you at risk for AIDS.
The FUCK IT attitude could FUCK YOU permanently....
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BY DUMB LUCK. BECAUSE I COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE.
YES WE ARE IN DENIAL. ALL DAY ON TV YOU HEAR AND SEE PEOPLE HAVING SEX BUT PUTTING A TROJAN COMMERCIAL IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR. THEY PULLED THEM OFF OF THREE MAJOR TV CHANNELS DUE TO CENSORSHIP. THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING EVER.
I work in an infectious disease office and I see the consequences of unprotected sex all day every day... For instance today we had a new pt. who was 16- and brand new diagnosis of HIV!!! its so sad! he is a baby!! we are in denial - nobody thinks that it will happen to them..
that is so sad! I cant imagine having anything like that at age 33 let alone 16?
Baby, you've got nothin' except that big lug you call a mate. After thinkin' about your situation, on which you elaborated couple days ago, you need to have a come to jesus (the man not a diety) with him. Those kinds of relationships make you worry about diseases. One of my three ex wives had herpes which she said because she masturbated a lot. The masturbation I loved even participated. Herpes beating off? WTF. I guess that's why I have 3 ex wives. Intolerance.
I guess that's just me.
AS YOU KNOW MARRIED PEOPLE CHEAT TOO.
THAT'S WHY I SAID WE KNOWINGLY SLEEP WITH PEOPLE WHOM WE KNOW NOT TO BE FAITHFUL. ESPECIALLY US WOMEN WE HAVE INSTINCT.
WELL THANKS FOR POSTING HERE IS SOME THING I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE PERSON WHO SAID THAT HIV DOES NOT LEAD TO AIDS IF YOU WOULD DO THE STUDY YOU WOULD KNOW PLEASE GO TO MY PAGE AND READ MY BLOG YOU CAN FIND ME ON MYSPACE/ROYBAL.LARRY I HAVE FULL BLOWN AIDS AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT AFTER DOING AND READING YOU GET HIV THAEN AIDS IT IS THE SAME VIRUS THE ONLY THING IS YOU HAVE HIV TILL YOUR TCELLS GET DOWN TO 200 THEN ITS CALLED AIDS SO PLEASE EVERYONE TAKE CARE OF THERE SELF LIFE FOR ME COULD END VERRY SOON AND ITS ALL DUE TO A FEW KNIGHTS OF LUST AND LAZYNESS NOT TO USE CONDOMS..TELL YOU PARTNER NO NO GLOVE NO LOVE ITS EASER THEN TELLING THEM NO LOVE DUE TO THE FACT THAT IM POS..AIDS HAS NO DISCCREAMINATION DOES NOT CAR IF YOU BOY OR GIRL FAT OR THIN GAY OR STRAIGHT BLACK OR WHITE ITS EVERYONES SICKNESS NOT JUST MINE..THANKS FOR READING AND SORRY FOR THE SPELLING THATS ONE EFFECT OF AIDS YOU FORGET THE EASYST THINGS IN LIFE LIKE HOW TO SPELL LOL
I want to thank you a million plus times for coming on here and letting us know the real deal. Many people keep it a secret but more and more stories need to be heard because it is much more common than people think.
Have you been sick or anything as of lately?
There is something that doesn't seem right. Why would you sleep with someone and then have the fear of wanting to go get tested afterwards. Shouldn't you just not sleep with the person at all in the first place???
Please honey don't even try and act like this is out of the ordinary. When you are dating someone you are in a whirlwind when you don't have you head on straight just like I was. Once my mind was right I took a look back and realized how dumb I was. Many many many people probably yourself is or has had unprotected sex in their life time. this was my wake up call. We all make mistakes. This was mine thank god like Melissa I came out clean. It's easy to say what people shouldn't be doing. The reality is they are, and people need to stop with the false reality.
Do you really think everyone is in a healthy relationship to say maybe I shouldn't be sleeping with this person, if they were we wouldn't have any STDs or HIV.
Hell Yeah !!! I never used a condom from the time I was 18 to present (43). Tho married 3 times, there were PLENTY of times I should have either been pregnant or infected with something. I was VERY lucky. And I am VERY lucky to be married and practicing full MONOGAMY !!
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