On a phone conversation with the married guy (mentioned in previous blog).......... Ok! I know I am not "supposed" to be talking to him.......... To continue, here’s what I said:
“At this point in my life I don’t think I am looking for anything serious. A casual, drama free relationship that consisted of great sex, gifts and trips would be fabulous. Could it be that simple?”
After inadvertently raising a question that left me lost for words, I paused and asked myself:
Is it possible that two people carry on a continuous relationship predominately based on great sex and not develop any feelings for each other? Or is great sex a combination of feelings in and out of the bedroom?
27 comments:
In this case I would say that first of all, feeling is kind of relevant thing. you would also have to consider the depth of one feelings, but just to keep it simple I always said that sex also takes place in your mind. Just like the visual part. Your eye either enjoys what you see or not. So in order to have GREAT sex you need some kind of feeling, the depth is irrelevant. Otherwise it's just sex..... But then again GREAT sex is a relevant thing as well.
You simply want to get paid to fuck....sex in exchange for gifts/cash and no attachments.
LOL. LOL. NO. I JUST LIKE GIFTS WHETHER I AM DATING SOMEONE OR NOT. I UNDERSTAND EVERYONE OPINION DIFFERS HOWEVER, THATS JUST ME IF YOU DONT AGREE FINE WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. I DONT DO THE 50/50 THING ANYMORE.ITS NOT APPRECIATED SORRY MONEY LINE OTHER MEN HAVE MESSED THAT UP.
IN ANY EVENT THAT IS NOT THE QUESTION. COULD YOU HAVE A CONTINUOUS SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN WITHOUT FEELINGS BEING INVOLVED?
TO ADD: IT'S NOT LIKE I SEEK OUT MEN WITH MONEY THEY SEEK ME. SO IF THEY OFFER AND ARE WILL TO GIVE AND THEY ARE ATTRACTIVE, AND INDEED HE IS. WHY NOT? ASIDE FROM HIM BEING MARRIED.
WHAT WOULD BE THE DIFFERENCE IF A WOMAN OFFERED YOU THE SAME OR HE WAS BROKE? WHY DOES MONEY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
HHHHMMMMMM....interesting question......I ask myself this question ALL the time. UGH! I have had LONG sexual relationships without developing any real feelings. BUT at the same time, there really is nothing better than GREAT SEX WITH LOVE! SERIOUSLY!! (& that's coming from a pretty cold hearted bitch btw..lol)
YOU KNOW I CARRIED ON A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY FOR A YEAR THAT WAS PREDOMINATELY SEXUAL AND IT WAS OK BUT TOWARDS THE END OF THAT YEAR THINGS STARTED TO GET HAZY AND NOT NECESSARILY ON MY PART.
GREAT SEX WITH LOVE...... HUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM
Great sex can jus be sex only if ur playing it safe.. Plus as long as u adn that person knows that theres no string attactch then thats fine... Honesty adn no mind games....
I THINK MANY TIMES PEOPLE DONT DISCUSS THE TERMS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HAND AND THEY WIND UP GETTING CONFUSED AND THATS WHERE THE DRAMA BEGINS..........
A relationship with a married man is about sex, and money. He gives you gifts and money, but you can never give him anything except sex. If you want a relationship thats just sex, thats fine...but choose someone who isnt married.
INDEED YOU ARE RIGHT SEX WITH A MARRIED MAN IS ABOUT SEX AND MONEY BUT I JUST CANT HELP BUT THINK IF I CARRY ON A RELATIONSHIP WITH SUCH GREAT SEX OR AT LEAST I IMAGINE IT TO BE, WILL IT TURN INTO MORE THATS WHY IT MAY BE BEST TO DATE A SINGLE GUY. THEN AGAIN I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I WANT THE WHAT IF IT TURNS INTO ANYTHING. I DONT THINK I WANT IT TO. IM NOT SURE.......
NOT POSSIBLE AT ALL...Even a dude paying for "Sex" might fall in love with the 'Tute, and shiiet iWouldn't be surprised if she falls in love. Botttom Line someONE will catch feelings. NEVER EVER FAILS
I could do it. In a heartbeat. Just sex. No feelings. Can't seem to get the husband to go along with this idea tho. Darn him anyway. I want some strange every now and then !!
THE FUNNY THING WEL IS I KNOW A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A MAN SHE USED TO TRICK WITH. I IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE FEELINGS CAN BE DEVELOPED.
I WONDER IF I WOULDN'T CATCH ANY FEELINGS IF I WERE TO JUST HAVE SEX WITH A GUY. I MEAN I WONT IN THE BEGINNING........ WHO KNOWS......
I believe that for me it's a feeling thing in and out of the bedroom. I need the emotional things also,but that's just me!
Lemme tell you a story....
I have a sister-in-law (lets call her Kim) that used to date athletes, stars, businessmen, etc...
After a failed long-time relationship, she was determined to get all she could out of 'relationships' with men. She became a side-piece for many wealthy men. They'd shower her with gifts/trips/furniture/etc...
Meanwhile, they would fuck her poor little pussy into OBLIVION!!!
In her mind, it wasn't much to pay since she's getting something on both ends of the deal (or so she thought).
She'd been so caught up in the life....that she completely ignored the fact that she'd developed breast cancer after about 7 years. When she lost one of her breasts, she got a boob job. When she lost her hair, she wore wigs. The cancer has now spread to her brain because she was too busy chasing casual sexual 'relationships' with men who used her....and not taking her medication/rest seriously.
Currently, she's nothing more than a vegetable.....cannot eat, speak, or dress on her own.
She's gotten her ass beat for screwing married men. She has been ostracized by her own family for her lifestyle.....
My question for you Bertha.....where does it end?
MONEY LINE A WOMAN NOT TAKING HER MEDICATION IS A FAR CRY FROM THE SUBJECT AT HAND. I AM NOT INVOLVED IN A LIFESTYLE OR SO YOU CALL IT. I DO NOT FUCK MEN FOR MONEY NOR DO I CHASE MEN FOR MONEY. IF THEY HAVE IT THEY CHASE ME IF THEY HAVE IT WHY NOT. WHAT WOULD SATISFY YOU IF I DATED SOMEBODY POOR WHICH I HAVE....... I DONT DATE MARRIED MEN. EVEN THOUGH I AM CURRENTLY ATTRACTED TO ONE NOW. I DID NOT SEEK HIM OUT. HE SOUGHT ME. I HAVE MET SINGLE MEN AND I STILL WANT THE SMAE THING SO WHAT. WHO IS IT HURTING ?
I AM NOT SAYING I WILL ONLY DATE MEN WITH MONEY I JUST MEET ALOT OF BROKE GUYS WHO WANT TO FUCK ME FOR A STEAK DINNER. ITS NOT MY FAULT THE GUYS WITH MONEY ACT LIKE GENTLEMEN.
I AM NOT TRYING TO GET THINGS OUT OF MEN AS I TOLD YOU IN A PREVIOUS EMAIL I DO NOT MANIPULATE I TELL. IF THEY AGREE THEN THATS ON THEM. THEY DONT CARE EITHER WAY.
AND WHAT DOES HER HAVING CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS HAVE TO DO WITH HER TAKING HER MEDICATION? THAT WAS HER IRRESPONSIBILITY. EVERYONE WHO HAS CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT IRRESPONSIBLE. MAYBE YOUR ARGUMENT COULD BE KARMA.........
SEX no matter what we tell ourselves is never simple nor devoid of emotion. The fact that this question is even being examined speaks to the truth of the fact that humans are emotional creatures. Past experiences tells me that if I don't want it to get "messy" then it absolutely cannot go on for long. one night stands emotionless OK somewhat, but on going sexual relations not so much;~}
I think you should follow your heart. You said you're not into drama right now, you sound like you want a break. Don't make yourself feel bad if that is what you really want.
I see you don't like the 50/50. I am curious about that. What is ideal to you? Does that mean to you, you have no power in the relationship whatsoever? Because everything is on him, you allow yourself to be fully dependent? I guess if you trusted him, it wouldn't be a big deal. I've never had that kind of a relationship handed to me, plus I don't have much experience, so I don't know what to think of this.
YEA PAST EXPERIENCES TELL ME THE SAME. I HAD A RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP INTO MORE AFTER A ONE NIGHT STAND.
WHEN I SY 50/50 I MEAN THE WHOLE NEW THING WHERE WOMEN ARE TO HELP MEN PAY THEIR BILLS AND GO DUTCH ON DATES. A MAN BUYING YOU GIFTS OR HELPING YOU OUT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE POWERLESS. ONLY YOU MAKE YOUR SELF POWERLESS BY YOUR ACTIONS. NOT SAYING I WILL NOT DATE A MAN WHO CANT AFFORD IT I JUST HAVE HAD BAD EXPERIENCES WITH THE. IE MY MYSPACE BLOGS.............
There is not a woman on earth who can say that they can have a relationship with a man "friends with benefits" and not feel anything for that person. Women are feeling creatures... Men are thinkers...but they can and do have feelings.
Now with the carrying on a continuous relationship... it can be done... the two have to be on the same page and there will be some time when one will do something that will make you think that it could go further than what it is but one or the other comes back to earth...
Very timely question for me.
I have always been a woman who can have a sexual relationship with out all of the emotion and feelings. For me, it was the sexual need being met, nothing more, nothing less.
I have embarked on a friendship recently in which I was looking for strictly sex with this man. Because of distance, our friendship grew before the sexual relationship. I now find myself having feelings for him, and possibly wanting more than just a sexual fling.
I think that as we get older, we find that sex without some type of emotion can leave you with an empty feeling. Once a friendship has been established, and you share yourself with someone, there is bound to be feelings.
I am of the belief that sex without any emotion or feelings can really only happen with a stranger.
YEA I KNOW ALL ABOUT THINKING IT CAN BE MORE AND COMING BACK TO REALITY. WE WOMEN SOMETIMES THINK IT CAN BE MORE WHEN HE MAY SAY SOMETHING SWEET OR SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME BUT WE COME BACK TO REALITY WHEN WE FND OUT IT REALLT MEANT NOTHING.
SEX WITHOUT EMOTION IS AN EMPTY FEELING. I THINK SEX AFTER YOU FIND MORE OUT ABOUT THAT PERSON IS BEST. BECAUSE AFTER SEX IT IS TOO LATE.
Sex can turn into sexual love, even have a little bit of romance, without monogamy.
Boundaries have to be explicit. If they're not the relationship will fail everytime. We must not forget that a sexual relationship is still a relationship.
THAT IS TRUE IT IS STILL A RELATIONSHIP AND THERE HAS TO BE SOME LINES OF COMMUNICATION.
Not for me...I need to be in love...to give my all...
Sex is sex. Fuck it. if you don't want nothing more , don't rock the boat. It gets complicated when feelings are involved. I ddon't attach sex to love at all so I don't have that problem.
SO YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU HAVE HAD A CONTINUOUS SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN I MEAN LETS SAY 8-9 MONTHS OR MORE AND NOT EVEN WONDERED WHAT IF?
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